Half way through the day, the entire school went from the lunch block to the next class. The hallways were full of teens itching to be done with the school year. It seemed louder than usual and I quickly grabbed my Spanish books and hustled to class. In the classroom, the noise level was still higher than normal and the teacher, Mrs. Simon, was distracted with an important-looking phone call. I grabbed a seat on a sides of the classroom that I always sat in. As I plopped myself into my chair/desk combo, I saw a familiar long braid sitting in front of me, one row to the left. How had I forgotten that this was the class we had together? Possibly because we had to use chosen "Spanish" names and not our real names for the entire class. I only knew her as Maria Muchado Esperanza. But now she was also Katie.
The class noise drones on and I see Katie start to turn around in her seat. My stomach drops like I just went down a 100-foot rollercoaster as I see her eyes scan the room until she locks onto mine. I freeze, not realizing I'm freezing but still, frozen. She smiles and I see her mouth open and close. Her smile fades and she starts to give me that confused look that she gave me when I couldn't stop talking in the MPR. Her mouth moves again, this time with more obvious effort. Is she saying something? To me?
"What?!" I yell over the din of pre-summer student chaos.
"I said... hey, Hazy." Katie says slowly and loudly like I don't understand English or Spanish.
"Oh! Ha. Cool, yeah. Hey, Katie. Hi." I say, feeling the extra words slip out with out anything I can do about it. The gentle smile returns to her face and she slides back around in her chair, facing the front of the class like a good student. Mrs. Simon hangs up the phone and has to momentarily untangle herself from the extra long phone cord. Once free, she looks at all of us and starts to address the class.
"Bueno, bueno clase. Shhhhhh." She successfully shhh-es the class with one finger placed over her bright red painted lips.
"Bueno. ¡Hola clase! ¿Cómo estás hoy?" The same phrase she starts every class with. And as always, the class responds in unison with different answers all in Spanish. Having been in Spanish for two years, these intro conversational phrases came to me easily. Which is why I missed it entirely when Mrs. Simon called on me to present my weekly report to the class.
"¡Señorita, Gloria! Lea su informe semanal a la clase, por favor." She repeated to me, closer this time. I blinked and tried to translate what I thought I had just heard. Using more of the power of elimination than my actual Spanish skills, I popped up from my desk and grabbed the report I had stuffed in my Spanish book. I started to read my written report out loud to the class and felt my confidence return as I read the words I wrote just yesterday. When I glance up from my report, I see Maria/Katie looking right at me with a smile on her face. She seemed please, maybe even a little proud? Seeing her approval made my confidence soar as I sat back down, landing softly back on to Earth.
"Nice job, Hazy. That was cool." Maria/Katie said to me, briefly dropping the Spanish Only rule in our class.
"Gracias, Maria." Thanking her and feeling cute about speaking in Spanish. Then she spun around in her seat, ready for the next student's report.
I couldn't hear anything else after that. I felt like today had been one big day of validation, one big day of feeling like I was actually good at school. And it was largely because of Katie, and Maria. I felt something in my gut that I'd never felt before. It felt like a knot but it wasn't uncomfortable. It almost felt like tickling but not as annoying. This new feeling came about anytime Maria/Katie talked to me, looked at me, sat near me, or any time I pictured her long braid, dangling just above the curve of her butt. This beautiful person seemed to fall out of the blue and make me feel like a million bucks. How is that possible? What does that mean? What is this feeling?